Crossing a boarder

In relationships there is a number of unwritten but still very clear boarders. You usually know them very well, and many of them are a direct result of society's moral. Society states quite clearly what is acceptable relationship and monogamy behaviour. Par example, your not allowed to sneak around and have secrets for your partner, without people stating to question the health of your relationship. It's the same with public flirtation and shamelessly throwing yourself at another person. It's not looked well upon. The key  word here is shame. Public shame that is. If you do something that you know that you as a parter would be shameful to watch, you know your skating on thin  ice. Or if you feel like hiding your behaviour and not let your partner know what your doing. Then you know for sure you've done something wrong.

But what is considered wrong is different in different communities and among different people. And not at least it changes with age. What I considered a felony deserving life sentence a couple years ago, is not even worth my energy now. Playful flirtation is a good example of that. It doesn't bother me anymore if my hubby is flirting innocently with some girl at a party. As long as he doesn't lie about having me at home that is. Honesty is the most important thing in all this. Tell me about her, and what you were talking about, and were good. Lie about it, or me, and your a dead man walking. 

But it amazes me what some people are willing to accept. Kissing, switching partners, dates etc etc. Sometimes I wonder if its just because they are to scared to be alone. So they accept everything, desperately hoping that will keep their partner from leaving them. If that is true, it's just sad. I have never understood those that are able to love and live with a partner that have strange sexual preferences that they them self don't share. How do you compromise that much, that you are willing to do things you don't even like or maybe think is disgusting. Still people do it everyday.

For me that is crossing a major boarder. 

But at what point do you compromise so much that you loose yourself and cross the boarder to becoming just a handy accessory?  And how do you know if you have lost yourself? And are you ever able to see it before its over, and you get some distance? 

I don't know. If I did, I could probably write a guide and earn millions. I guess as you grow older you get better perspective on who you are a person and what you are willing to accept. If you don't know what your own boarders are, how can you expect someone else to know? I think everyone has a responsibility to figure out there one boarders and what makes them happy. After all, no one else but you are responsible for your happiness. If everyone did that, I don't think as many would loose them self in relationships. And finding them self stuck in ways and accepting thing they never normally would. I don't think there's is a easy answer to all this, not at all.

After all, I never said it was easy, but they say that in love and war, everything goes.